Day 35   Just Breathe… and While You Are At It---Meditate.

I have had moments in the past when I would be passionate about something and my body would become animated. It could be that I was mad, or it could be that I was just on my soapbox. Either way, during a moment like that, I have had people say, “Dereatha, just breathe”!!!! They were being funny I know, and their funny remark would make me momentarily stop what I was doing.  I would think about what I was saying and in that moment it would ease the tension in my body.  In my research about stress, I have found out that this thing called breathing was a very important part of relieving stress.

Stress relief has probably been the hardest part of my journey. I am never still. I simply do not know how to rest. If I have to sit to watch television, I will generally find something else to do like fold clothes, balance the checkbook, work a crossword puzzle or some other activity like check email or facebook. You would think that with this constant movement I would have a very high metabolism and therefore be very thin. That is not true for me. As I’ve covered before, stress hormones are released that caused me to want to eat more. And stress alone causes the body to store fat because of the hormones involved. So, none of my periods of weight loss or non-weight loss can be attributed to a high metabolic rate. Somewhere along the way I never learned to relax----and “breathe”. But on my journey of improving my health, I am, actually, learning to breathe, not only in times of stress, but in times of relaxation. I’m not talking about the breathing that keeps me alive, I’m talking about DEEP breathing. Just to clarify what that means, here is a description. Deep breathing is breathing in very slowly (through your nose) to a slow count of ten and then breathing out (through your mouth), to a slow count of ten.  You should breathe out slowly and long enough that your stomach starts to protrude. This lets you know that your breath is going deep into your body. Concentrate on your breath and feel it moving inside your body. Do this for one minute at least once an hour.  My mother’s day present this year was an Apple watch. It has been fun discovering what all it will do. One of the features is a breathing exercise. You watch the little green dot to get yourself concentrating on your breathing and then it vibrates to tell you when to breathe in and out, seven times in a minute. You can also set it to remind you to breathe every hour. This is great, but you don’t have to have an Apple watch. There are several similar apps that you can download onto your phone.  So why is this deep breathing important?

When you are stressed and tense, you breathe shallow which means less air or oxygen to the body and brain. This means you can’t move as well and your brain does not think as well or make as good decisions. You can’t remember as well, you get moody with others, so it is bad for you as well as others.   When you deep breathe you increase oxygen to the entire body, so the brain will think better and make better choices. You are in a better mood and you get along better with others. That is why you should never make major life decisions when you are stressed ---or depressed, I might add. Many people, including me, make decisions and say things that should never have been said, when they are stressed. I can’t tell you how many divorced people I talk to that say “deep down” they question their decision to call it quits, that perhaps the decision was made in haste. That is the lesson I am learning—not about divorce, but other important decisions. Just take a deep breath.  Five years ago I would have laughed at this suggestion. That was pre-journey days. Now, I know it works. My Apple also records my heart rate. I watch my heart rate drop as I deep breathe. It is amazing to me.  Remember from Blog 34 how stress raises your heart rate??  So now when I feel the pressure coming, I stop, turn on my app and BREATHE!!!  But I mostly keep it on during the day and shut it down at night. This is hard to explain and comprehend, I know.  It is like trying to tell people how calming, relaxing, renewing and stress free you get on a Harley ride. I guess you just have to be there. I hope you will join me on the “breathing  journey” and see for yourself. On a side note, I know I have some teachers who follow my blog, so I want to add something interesting if you care to explore. Want to increase your students test scores?  Go to   www.pbisworld.com/wp-content/.../DeepBreathing-Lesson.doc , and see the research on what happens when you teach your students to deep breathe before a test or any other stressful situation they might face. It is remarkable. I am appalled as I am sure you are, by the violence in our schools. I’m not talking about the horrible shootings, necessarily, that have happened. I’m just talking about the anger, bullying, stress from test taking and all the emotions that students face on a daily basis---- that has the potential for violence. I think back on the standardized test taking I did in school-----California Achievement Test, Act, etc. I was terrified of those tests for which I could not study. I never did really well on them either. I did well enough to get into college, but I didn’t get any recognition awards. The stress was very different from the tests I took based on the classroom teacher instruction. I guess I’ll never know, but I would love to have tried some breathing techniques in those days. I have learned how to use deep breathing in non-stressful situations also. I have used it to focus and calm my mind.

I use it when I go to sleep and when I wake up. I am pretty bad at lying in bed at night and rehearsing all the events of the day. This can be stressful at the most and distracting at the least. When I feel my mind “ramping it up”, I begin the routine. The counting in and counting out, and the concentrating on the airflow is very calming and I go to sleep easier. For an interesting study, look at all the Scriptures that talk about how God breathed on people, how he gave them the breath of life, and one verse in Job talking about how the spirit of God was in His nostrils. God designed our bodies to detox through breathing. It is one of the three ways we eliminate toxins, and thoughts can be toxic, as talked about in Day _____. Another way I use deep breathing is when I awaken. It just seems to start the day off right even before I get out of bed. This calms the anxiety that I predict I will face during the day. I know we are retired and do not face work every day, but we are still very busy. Since it seems, at Badin Lake, we are 30 minutes to two hours away from civilization and our grandchildren,  we have to plan very carefully how much time we have to complete “at home” tasks. We begin by saying, “Ok we have to be in Stokes County by 4 o’clock. So we will have to leave by two o’clock. Oh yes, we need to go to the grocery store, so we need to leave by one o’clock. Let’s see, it will take an hour to shower and get dressed, so we have to be done working by 12:00. Then we will need to fix lunch and eat, so that is around 11:30.  So we have a couple of hours to cut the grass or clean out a closet or plant a garden box, etc.,etc., etc., “and If I am not careful, I can get stressed before I ever get out of bed. And we have multiple activities to attend—football games, basketball games, track, swimming, and wrestling. This is a two to three times a week routine. NO, staying at home is not an option. This is a season in our lives that will one day end. We refuse to miss it!!! So, if I can begin the morning with deep breathing, meditating on Psalms 150 that says “Let everything that has ‘Breath’ praise the Lord”, then the stresses of the day fit nicely into my schedule. It has been a game changer for me. That is my “meditation”, which is greatly emphasized in the holistic world. There is so much evidence out there on the health benefits of meditation.

I have always been a little leery of the word meditation. I guess I picture a turban wearing man sitting on a mat, humming or chanting. This really is a form of meditation and research says it works and works great. This can’t be denied. It reduces doctor visits, saves millions in money that would be used for medical doctors and pharmaceuticals. We’ve known for years that a large majority of illness is psychosomatic. What does that mean---it is an illness caused or aggravated by stress. Now the interesting thing about this is how closely the mind parallels the breath. When you are excited you breathe more and faster. When you are peaceful you breathe much slower. It works the other way around, also. If you slow your breath, your mind slows down and you regain control of it by restoring your connection to the consciousness of your breath. God has designed a way for us to control our stress. So, I can calm myself through meditation. I don’t sit in a circle and chant, I use God’s Word. Here is His plan found in Philippians 4:8,   where He tells us to think on things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and of good report. Paul ends by saying if there is any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. I realized how powerful this can be in my life. I’m sorry to say for years, as a Christian, I focused on everyone’s sin and on the ways they disagreed with me. In other words I looked down my self-righteous nose. It was pride, pure and simple. It reminds me of the of the story in the Bible where the Pharisee prayed---Lord, I thank you that I am not a sinner like other people (and he named them, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, and publicans, which are tax collectors). He went on to list all the good things He had done---I fast, I tithe, etc. Then there was the publican (tax collector), who prayed “Lord be merciful to me a sinner”. Jesus said that the publican was justified because he humbled himself. I am just really beginning to honestly see people and emphasize their virtue and praise them for that virtue. It is a process that I have to work on every day. It has really enlarged my friends and my circle of influence, and brought more joy in my life than I have ever had. There is an excitement to living that I cannot explain. Many people I talk to lived just like me when I was in the working, stressful world. Just ask anyone about their job. Very few will say, “I love my job, I love my boss, I love the people I work with, my work environment is completely stress free, and I dread the day I have to retire”. Any and all of this, I believe can be true if we learn to control the things we can control----our stress. I am learning to do this through deep breathing and building my relationship with God. It is a journey. Am I there yet? No way! Will I ever make it? I don’t think that is the question, because we live in a stressful world. The question is whether or not I will use God’s ways to handle the stress that I know will come. It gives me an excitement trying to figure out how and why God chose to put the people in my life, who are in my life. That includes my family and friends, and those who I randomly meet. How can I be a blessing to them?  I want to end this blog with a story I heard from my friend not long ago.  She is in a very, very, stressful job. The environment is horrible. When she told me the story I was in shock. It is unbelievable that this owner would allow these situations to exist. She is desperately looking for a job, but because of the size of this company and her position, it is hard to find anything that can match her salary and benefits. She goes on interviews quite often, with no luck. To add to the environment, her co-worker was very unqualified and basically bad at her job so she spent hours helping her keep up. My friend tried to help her see God in situations and constantly tried to encourage her. This added extra stress on her. She actually said she would be better off if the co-worker quit. And that is what eventually happened because she got so frustrated.  After she quit, she called my friend back and thanked her for the spiritual guidance that had created spiritual growth in her life.  Her conclusion?   Maybe that is why God had me here, just to help her. What a healthy way to look at stressful situations. She had a purpose. I have a purpose. I just want my life to be Healthy and HAPPY.  There is one more area I want to cover before I finish “stress”. Next Blog!! I can’t believe how it has removed stress in my life.